sleepless

It’s hard to fall asleep tonight
Because all I can think of is you
I can’t seem to get to sleep
Which is what I really don't want to do
I’m laying on my bed…wide awake 0.0
When sleep is what I need.
But thinking of you is keeping me up!
What a problem this is indeed.
I’m still awake and it’s very late 3:30am
This really isn’t fair!
I need my rest, it’ll be morning soon
But my mind just doesn’t care.
I’m thinking about you, how I want you near,
As I look around.
I cuddle up close, (which is dumb I suppose)
Because I’m wishing you were my pillow.
I wish you were here laying next to me
As I run my fingers through your hair.
I want to be warm, wrapped in your arms
And fall asleep knowing you’re there
I want to rest my head on your chest,
To be calmed by your steady heart-beating, { honestly, i miss all that}
To lay there and smile because you’ll be here all the while,
Under sheets while we’re gently sleeping.
everything is the same
And I’m still alone in my bed.
I’m thinking of you and it’s keeping me up…
I guess I’ll try sleeping again instead.

good night =(

silence sorry

a day i will never forget in my life
a day i'll be with myself
silence sorry: the guilt within me
losing grip:once so close, now so far

being stupid again

i just found out something again which is what he said and what the truth is totallly.....i dunno...why must you always telling lies to me again and again??why?could you please tell me why and stop blaming me for not listening to u, misunderstand u?STOP ACTING INNOCENT AND PITYFUL IN FRONT OF ME! S*** U. i don't need to see all that.don come to me and ask me what have you did and all..what you did you should know it your self. i cant play with that. If you really wanna be like that, ok..let's play it together..dont you think more fun? i do feel is fun..im really doubt that how much lies will come to me again. How many times im going to put myself believing in you again and again. Why do you have to do this to me?WHY?! im not that stupid anymore.IM AWAKE! Dont ever stop me from doing this and that again. Today, i've change myself to satisfy you but you dont seems to appreciate it.Ok, great..and I choose to be with you and i promise you i'll not talk much to any guys, i really did that..but see what you did to me? Alright, is time for me to change back to the first you met me. Don ever come to me and beg me again this time. Sorry and promises will never accepted. I guess this is what you want me to be actually. =) Don ever regret with the things that happen. Things will not gonna be the same again. Im here to tell u. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT!

Picture of the day

2009

Miss

is there any situation that can define the feeling of miss or it can just suddenly happen in the mind?what will a person do when he or she is missing some one?will they express it out or just keep it? *wondering*

i prefer to keep quiet because eventhough say it out,i dont think the person i miss will believe that instead he'll say im sweet talking again..no difference if i express my feeling and not. When im missing some one,i will have the feeling of hugging the person tightly then only i feel comfortable.

how can we know that a person really miss one another?how's the feeling feels like?

Myself

i am who i am..this is me! don't ever compare me with anyone.

* jaynnie *

:-S

Met up classmates for lunch nearby college. Then, went to cousin's house since i'm so free. Winnie was so excited when she saw me. =) Ryan & Bryan ,said they gt a big surprised by me.. they said they didn't expect that i'll find them..cause most of the time i said ' im busy '..lol..bad huh? -.* We went queensbay after that.. Winnie just cant stop walking around,buying stuffs. My legs were so pain cause of her , from north to south, east to west. =( Help!! i don't even get to have a seat unless when she tried for shoes. After that, accompany them for lunch at dragon i then back to their home. Waiting for them to bath and Ryan start busy with his dota again..sien nia..waited for them till 9something. so slow..especially Ryan...so slow..worst than girl..Then, went for dinner just nearby their house. After dinner, back home. tiring =|

Arguments we had again. =( He called me and cant get thru me .Then, when i got home i called him back. The way he talked to me haiz...speechless...all the time also like that..used to it..when his friends around him, it just so hard for him to talk. What so hard huh?not used to it cause you never talk to any of ur ex before in front of them?or is just so shy for you to talk in front of them?or simply cause you don't want them to know that you have gf?hmm.. This question was still in my mind.=.= ?? ok forget it.. Asked me to wait for him, yea i did try my best. He text me ask me to wait for him for awhile.. yea AWILE.. an hour..now i know the meaning of awile.. what took you so long to eat huh?yea your friends again mer..i know i know..Late nvm, not even a 'sorry' yet scolded me. WTH is that!?Did i force you to wait?! Did i threaten you with anything if u don't wait?! If you not willingly to wait for me then DON'T. Don't force urself to do things that you don't mean it or do it willingly. I hate people say things that sound im the one who force them, this and that. i HATE IT ! And now i know all this while whatever i asked to you wait is just forcing you right. yea thanks.
And yea, ur ex so much better than me. im just a piece of blank paper right? then go back to your ex. don't come to me and said those to me. If you don't appreciate me, then just GET AWAY FROM MY LIFE! BACK WITH YOUR EX! Still have others who appreciate me, im sure! Don't come to me and blame me for everything. You deserved it! And this is what you're asking from me! and yea, 'lets split' right?yea yea...split.. =D always the same word from you hmmm.....alright. i'll accept it this time with no regrets and don't ever turn back to me anymore! i guess this is what you're thinking for it for a long time d. im sorry i cant be the best for you as you know no one is perfect in this world. and i wish all the best in ur life! =D

=) turns to =( day

hmm..thursday
nothing much bout today
met him today
suppose to meet up a bit early
but i drag his time
cause im not in a mood
weather are bad today
seems like going to rain
i was sad at first
but after something happened
i wished that it rain soon
cause i don feel like seeing him suddenly
i prayed for it, hopefully it'll rain
but seems like God wants us to meet up
i drag his time till almost 3
but not even a drop of the rain fall
=(
what to do?
i have to face him with this kind of situation
i hate myself being like this
is not that he wants to see right?
is not that he thinks back everything right?
why should i react like this?
dopey me
anyway, we met up in the end
i feel so uncomfortable when im there
but i never speak to him
i feel like crying
but i hold my tears
and act nothing happen
but im sure he knows something wrong with me
and he did! he just know me very well~
he can read my mind
well, is good then

Then, i spoke out everything to him
and he made it up to me
he comforted me
he was a great comfort to me
i felt so much better after that
thanks to him =)

Night, went Greenlane's Mcd
eating there, chit-chat
and we know each other more well day by day
winks -.*
then chaos
thou i said im feeling better,
but the feeling of jealousy and uncomfortable is still with me
what to do?
what can i do?
sigh -.-
kept myself silently =\
that's all for today
* good night*

wondering~

Everyone's back to college, study mood but me still in holiday mood.=) what should i do? any ideas? Most of the day i just sleep, eat, shopping ,wasting my time, spending money..haiz.. while my friends were busy working earning money..should i work too so that i can have extra income?half year..6 months..about 180 days..imagine..my gawd!~ still wondering.. any suggestion?anything for me to do to fulfill my this 6months time without wasting a single seconds?i don't wanna feel regret after 6months..Yes! i know..i need to slim down in 4months time..but wey is hard for me man! Is easy to put on weight but is hard to slim down..haiz.. why i just cant be like him huh?? I WANNA SLIM DOWN! or should i just eat pills to slim down?cause im just a lazy bump to go for exercise..=D
The next thing that im wondering about is should i attend for T7 class for this sem? mind full of ' ??? ' hmm...anyway, just forget bout this first.. let me think bout it after this month..
Today went out with him for movie . We watched 17 Again. The movie was nice but i'm abit disappointed cause we supposed to watch I Love You Man, but there's only 12.05pm on that day..so we cant get to watch ..how sad..=( but still i did enjoyed myself watching 17 Again..:-) so satisfied for it.. After movie, we decide to have our dinner in gurney drive cause he missed the fried sotong , and same thing goes to me.. tam chiak huh?=P Went there, but nothing much . Most of the stalls were closed on that day. So no choice other place for us. Then, end up eating at opposite ping hwa high school..i cant remember what's the name of the coffeeshop d..The fried rice there were nice..it'll be nicer if fried together with sambal..but the laksa and char hor fun were tasteless.. No more next time! After dinner, we had our talk inside car then back home..It reminds me for the first outing with him...hmm........

Tired of this

Im really tired of being in this way again..im tired of explaining the same thing,argue over the same things, myself facing these problems. i hate myself for having this kind of feeling.the same problems happened on me again..the same person..the feeling of being fooled?cheated?jealousy?what else?the same things just came into my mind when everything just happened in a seconds and it really crossed my mind. i just cant get over this..i dont wanna face the same problems every day, every night..i dont want..can anyone help me?anything or anyway to solve out this? i cant stand it anymore.i need to breathe. i feel so suffocating..i need shoulders to cry out loudly...my tears just running thru my eyes..what can i do is juzt hold it tightly cuz i don want to hurt anyone beside me right now bt i myself cant breathe.i need to go out somewhere to get some air to breathe...=( calls?no calls?message?no message?who can be the one for me when i really need them?who?!=? i guess no one..i can only speak myself thru here.i can only express everything here. no ones will realise the painful of mine that i bear for it at this moment. NO ONE！=/

beach day~

Have never been to beach for such quite a long time.. misses the scene of the beach, the bright sun, the nice sky, the wave crashing, the sound of the water roaring back and forth, the birds cuckoo-ing~..Just walk around at the beach, sitting down, breathing the fresh air , watching the wave beats the sand and people there having fun simply so nice n relaxing for me..Today, finally , spending some time together with him at the beach, the first time here with him..spent the whole evening there, walking along this glorious beach...take a look of the scene there which i miss it..I love the feeling of hang on the beach cuz it makes me feel the tranquility amongst the harshness of the neverending day.It brings a sense of amazement to remind me of the place which God send both of us to be together..the both of us cant believe how beautiful it is at the beach..let's picture describe the feeling..

him & me

♥

Have a great day on the beach...wherever that may be!

x0x0
=P

boring sunday~

As usual wake up early in the morning for breakfast with my family. But this time to Ipoh for dim sum..I actually miss the egg tart there.. much nicer than Penang's one but still in Penang have my favourite egg tart too. Was so sleepy and feel so lazy to got up from my bed cuz i did not sleep for the whole night.. After dim sum, went back home straight. was too sleepy but i couldn't sleep..ended up din sleep..went to shop ,read magazines, doing nothing there for the whole afternoon. was think of going out to somewhere so that wont feel bored. I text him , asked him and he said ok. I was so happy till i can feel myself flying to the sky:) . We went to Gurney Drive, sat there for awhile and went to Gurney Drive ate fried sotong, drank soya bean, and cherry tomatoes too..yummy..going to gain weight again..haiz.=( i wanna slim down 10kg in 4months time .. thats all for tonight..gud nitche~

back again! =)

It's been a long time i stop blogging due to some problem..and im now back here again..will update as much as i can..I am still the same old me..life is still the same..nothing much that i could change.. Starting from this week it will be an enjoyable week for me..why? Cuz i've just finished my exam last few days,to be exact 3days..there were a few questions which i totally don't know how to do..i crap my way through although it didnt make much sense but who knows maybe my crap do help me to earn few marks right?i don mind though.many of my friends were busy writing till their veins out of their hands..and yea..the moment i stepped out of the exam hall i felt so relieved and happy that i felt like throwing confetti everywhere and sprinkle them on every single person that walk pass me..! totally~.=)hehe.. YEAH! FINALLY!! no more exam ! no more stress! no more burning midnight oil! Im starting to feel release right now and best of all i can sleeeeeppp all day long! whiieeeee~!=) Nothing much bout today..just eat , sleep , online and went to swim wif cousins just now..just gt bak home..going to eat again later..hehe...eat , sleep is pretty nice thing for me to do..hehe...=) ' more shopping for me,more manicure and pedicure, more movies for me to catch up , more time for me to hang out wif him and more time for me to do mask...i miss those moments..i hate exam! it kills me lots!hmm..alright, that's all for tonight..going out soon..tata..good night